Mother's Day

So, it's Mother's Day and I'm thinking I should post. I think I said everything about my kids in the last entry, but I'd like to take this in a different direction.

I was a basically well behaved child for most of my life. However, during that handful of rebellious years, my mother went through a lot of worrying and aggravation. I stayed out all night. I went out when I was supposed to be grounded. I disobeyed. I yelled. I even moved out to live with a boyfriend and his family for a while. I was just as selfish and inconsiderate as a teenager could be.

Through it all, she waited up, she argued, she demanded and she tried to make more rules for every one I broke. She also supported me, loved me and never gave up on me. And after I finally grew up, I realized all she went through while she was dealing with plenty of other issues. We don't realize what our parents deal with in their lives until we become adults with worries of our own. There are bills to be paid, friends and family to help, our health to take care of and jobs to weigh on top of it all.

It takes a long time for the tables to turn and a child to appreciate her mother. I didn't want to be smothered. I wanted to make my own mistakes and learn from them myself. She hated it. But, somehow, I think she understood. And now, after having my own kids, I think she was just grasping for a way to keep me from getting hurt. Isn't that what all mothers want? To keep their kids safe?

My mother took care of five kids. She was a second mother to all our friends. She cooked dinner every night. She helped with homework and attended school functions. Our house was always clean. We didn't have a ton of money, but we had everything we needed. We were a house where board games and outdoor play were encouraged and cherished. She did more for us than I ever realized.

Now, after two kids of my own, I appreciate her more and more every day. Her strength and love for us was boundless. No matter how much we probably drove her nuts, she was always there for us. I love her dearly and I hope she knows that there could never be another mom that compares to her.

***While many would assume I'd post a pic of my mom at this point, anyone in my family knows that is the worst thing I could do. My mom HATES pictures of her anywhere, so posted for all the interwebs to see would be mortifying in her eyes. Instead, I will post a pic of her beautiful mother who was the sweetest, cutest, giggliest (yes, giggle-i-est) lil grandma a girl could have. In our family, we called her Nanny. We lost her only a few months after I had my son 11 years ago and she is desperately missed. Happy Mothers Day and eternal love to you both!



That's me with Nanny!



Respect, Appreciation and Love

Last night, we experienced a momentous occasion. I would be remiss if I ignored this event as it relates to us today. My father was in the Army. My grandfather, my husband, my cousin, my friend…they have given their all to support our freedom in the armed forces.

And as I watched the news, I spent some time reflecting on what this means for us. Without delving into the politics and morality issues of war, our military is full of men and women to be proud of.  They deserve respect and thanks from every one of us. I try to instill this thinking in my children. It was only a week ago that I was in the grocery store with my kids when we passed a man in fatigues. As we walked by, I smiled and thanked him for his service. My son then told me that while on the school bus one day, the children all yelled and waved to a military vehicle that was next to them on the road.

As I raise my children, I try to impress small lessons that sink in quickly. I try to lead by example. Table manners? Sure. Never wander off? Absolutely. Respect? Ok…let's face it, that's a tough one. Even if I think they don't always show it properly, at least now I know they give it when it counts.

I was a fairly good kid growing up. I had my rebellious years for a bit, but like everyone else, I never thought I would be a strict parent. After having kids, it's much easier to appreciate my parents and what they did for me growing up. Being a mom is a tough job. We have to make rules and know when to draw the line between friend and parent. We have to put up with the "No!" and "I hate you!" and "It's not fair!" screams. It's not all cupcakes and sprinkles.

The good thing is, there are many more wonderful moments to remember fondly. The first giggles, first steps and first words are always exciting. But then there are the times that you get to see your child developing an individual personality. Or watch them enjoy their own achievements. One of my favorite moments with my son, now 11, is watching him get his first hit in baseball. As he ran to first base, I could see the glow of disbelief and pride on his face. He has also shown some great artistic potential. Going to the art show at his school was important to him. You could see it in his bubbly energy as we all walked in together. He nearly skipped to the exhibit to find his items. At his first guitar performance, he refused to look at me, probably knowing I was tearing like an embarrassing mother would.

My daughter is only four, and she is a whole different breed. It was obvious from the start that everything she did would be on her terms only. She can be indignant and frustrating. She can also be incredibly entertaining. Even when she misbehaves, my husband and I struggle not to laugh at her actions in order to show that being disciplined is serious. She's brazen and clever, and I think some day she is going to pursue her dreams with tenacity.

Even when they are exhausting, sometimes it's helpful to sit back and watch them for a few moments. Smile at their playfulness. Adore their quirks and expressions. The years pass quickly and each year holds new and wonderful changes. There are no words to say how I truly feel about my kids. They make me proud and joyful every day. They fill my heart and flood my soul.

It is my honor to direct you to our next blogger, Crystal. She will be posting her entry tomorrow at Domestic, But Not Martha at http://www.domesticbutnotmartha.com/ tomorrow.

Crystal has become a dear friend of mine on Twitter @DmstcBtNtMartha. She is a young mother and military wife and I find the timing poignant that she was scheduled so early in our tour to share her story. She is constantly working to help others with fundraising, volunteering and prayers. She is a kind heart and a beautiful soul and I am lucky to call her a friend.

Please be sure to continue the tour with her tomorrow!

May Mom Blog Tour

During the month of May, Nadia Romanov (@NadiaR13) and I have organized a star-studded Mothers' Day blog tour. Each day a different mom will take the helm at her blog providing a mom-inspired post. We've gathered up some of our favorite women and asked them to join us in celebrating moms for the entire month.

Our first blogger will be Nadia, then I'll be hosting tomorrow. Every post will have a link to the next day's blogger, so be sure to read, enjoy and check for the next place to go. We'll also be posting reminders on Twitter and Facebook.

Our list includes the following fabulous blogs:

Musings By The Light Of The Moon	http://musingsbylightofthemoon.blogspot.com/
All About Momsense	http://allaboutmomsense.blogspot.com/
Domestic But Not Martha	http://www.domesticbutnotmartha.com/
The Sears Family	http://masonsears.blogspot.com/
Keeping Up With The Pickles	http://the-pickles.blogspot.com/
All Work & No Play Makes Mommy Go Something Something	http://www.makemommygosomethingsomething.com/
Ode to Blogging	http://odetoblogging.blogspot.com/
JennHeffer	http://jennheffer.com/
The Bees Knees	http://thebeeskneesbaby.blogspot.com/
The Truth About Motherhood	http://www.motherhoodthetruth.com/
Anime's Musings	http://animesmusings.blogspot.com/
I Love Purple More Than You	http://www.ilovepurplemorethanyou.com/
Yeah. Good Times.	http://yeahgoodtimes.blogspot.com/
What Did She Say?	http://www.whatdidshesay.ca/
The Adventures of a Dysfunctional Supermom	http://dysfunctionalsupermom.com/about/
My Life As Taz	http://mylifeastaz.com/
Momma Findings	http://www.mommafindings.com/
The Sweetest	http://thesweetest3.com/
Write On Target	http://debralschubert.blogspot.com/
Little Miss Mocha	http://littlemissmocha.com/
Transplanted Thoughts	http://www.transplantedthoughts.com/
Leslie Gail's Blog - New Life Focus	http://newlifefocus.wordpress.com/
Mommy of A Monster	http://mommyofamonster.com/contact-me
Family Sized Fun	http://familysizedfun.blogspot.com/
Little Animation	http://www.theanimatedwoman.com/
On the Road Less Taken	http://www.ontheroadlesstaken.blogspot.com/
Go Go Gadget Zen	http://gogozen.blogspot.com/
Memoirs of a Writer	http://www.susanoloier.blogspot.com/
Mother's Gilt	http://mothersgilt.blogspot.com/
Blog and Vlog Musings	http://allanapratt.com/blog-and-vlog-musings/
Kelley's Break Room	http://www.kelleysbreakroom.com/

Enjoy!! And Happy Mothers' Day!!

SOS is for Save Our Sanity

My husband was away on business for six days. I was left with two kids for six days.

Six. Days.

 

Six days without adult conversation. Six days listening to whining, checking homework and breaking up fights by myself. It's surprising I have any sanity left. It doesn't matter if you have a full time job, or work from home, or you are a stay at home mom, it can be draining. And if you are a single parent, this is your regular day.

When my husband returned, I asked sweetly, "Do we have any plans tomorrow?"

"No? Good. I need to get out of here. For a few hours. Sans children."

Sometimes, the days turn into weeks, turn into months and I forget when the last time was that I had a break. Not a vacation. Not a date with my husband. Just a break. For me.

AKA....Alone time. AKA.....Me time.

It's important. It's NECESSARY.

Parents...I implore you. Make some time for yourselves. Don't forget to take care of you. We all need a break from the dependency. A moment to breathe. And think. You can go shopping, take a drive, go to a coffee shop and read your favorite book. You could take a blanket and lay out in a local park with your iPod and some sunshine for company. Spending money is not the key.

Having time to yourself to do something that you enjoy without the pressure of chores, demands or other interruptions is vital to keeping your life balanced. Make the time. Don't feel guilty about dropping the kids off with a friend or a relative. The time you give yourself is time to recharge. Without it, you may be more likely to yell at the kids more or get upset over insignificant issues.

Taking care of yourself is not neglecting your children. Taking care of yourself makes you a better parent. More tolerant, more rational. Too much stress can have a physical effect on you. Don't allow your selflessness to harm you in the long run. You are deserving. Your happiness is just as important as your children's.

***STAY TUNED....MAY MOMMY BLOG TOUR INFORMATION COMING SOON***
A 30-day blog tour is being arranged for May, the month of Mother's Day. Let's celebrate moms!!

My Birthday Girl

I was thinking about what to write about my Emma Lily for her birthday post. The day came and went and I couldn't decide. Do I whine about the fact I had to be induced to get her here? Like get to the hospital the night before and spend the whole time strapped to machines? Nah. I'm sure plenty of women have been through the same. Maybe I'll share some of her hilarious quips. Like the time she said that her life was ruined because I gave her fresh parsley. But, then again, I've shared plenty of those on Twitter.

So, what then?

My son was an easy baby. He's a pretty easy kid still at 11 years old. Emma, on the other hand, is already her own person at the age of four. She was her own person before she was born. I was sick the whole pregnancy. She had to be forced out. The only good hospital photo taken was one where she was giving the finger...my one regret in life is not having that one printed. I should have known it was a sign of what was to come.

She was pretty easy in the way that waking up in the middle of the night was quickly resolved, but her precociousness was creeping up on me in the meantime. Once she began crawling, it was obvious she would be a troublemaker. She'd head for whatever direction we did not want her to go in. Today, she still is. She tries to fool us. She says things that we can't even begin to comprehend how she would know. I can only imagine what her teenage years will do to me.

Although, underneath all the trouble, the mouthing off, the hijinx, she's an incredible energy. She bounces like light off a mirror. Her grin is always mischievous. Her hair is always a mess. She makes demands and she throws fits when they aren't fulfilled. Then she does something helpful like getting a new box of tissues for the bathroom. I have a four year old that knows how to put a new roll of toilet paper on the holder. She has tender moments where she brushes your hair back and asks for a hug.

When I look at Emma, I see possibilities. I see a million things she could be. She's emits the drama of an actress, the creativity of an artist and the cunning of a con artist. She's beautiful and difficult and challenging. She's so full of life and my one hope for her is that she always remains that way.

Wordless Wednesday

My Birthday Boy

Twelve years ago, I was a carefree 21 year old. I worked at a daycare during the day and as a waitress at a local bar at night. In my free time, I bounded from pool halls to concerts to late night diners. There were hours of time spent surrounded by friends having in-depth discussions about solving world hunger or who really killed Tupac and Biggie. Our beer bottles could be heard clinking until all hours of the morning.

And then one day, I was pregnant. The collage of emotions felt overlapped and overwhelmed me. It wasn't time. I wasn't ready. How would I do this? Everything is going to change.

With each passing month, I grew closer to him. I remember the kicks. I relished the tumbles. It was an easy pregnancy; I had no difficulties or illnesses the entire term. I sometimes wrapped my arms around my growing belly, not just to support the weight, but in an attempt to embrace the child I couldn't wait to hold.

My due date came and went. I was ready. I was exhausted. The weekend came and I spent the day walking as much as I could. And at 10pm, when I felt the first twinge of a contraction, I knew he was on his way. After a few hours of waiting, I tried to get some sleep. And after a few hours sleep, I awoke, knowing it was time to get ready to leave for the hospital.

At 4:20pm, he was finally here. I cried. I swooned. I laughed at the scrunched up faces he made. Mostly, I realized that this wiggly bundle was now my life. And with every day that has passed, he has never ceased to amaze me.

In eleven years, he's crawled, walked and spoke. He's created, destroyed and discovered. He makes me angry and he makes me happier than I've ever known. I'm proud of him in more ways than I can count. And while I fear the unknown teenage years ahead, I know that he'll be amazing. Just as he always has.